Showing off....

Guess who's down below 220? This girl!!!

I went out a few weeks ago with the hubs and this is what I decided to wear.

Even better? Its a size 16 off the rack dress from JCP.  Love :)

Ok so that's enough showing off.

I really need to get back into my routine, but at least Christmas is 2 weeks away which should make it more simple to do. :)

Hello Friends!

Well, I've stopped working again (hah!). I've stopped working at a job that actually pays, ya know, money. I'm back to being a SAHM, and I'm LOVING IT!

I missed my routine. I missed my boys. I missed being in charge of everything! I missed the pleasure I get from having a  well run household. Its been two weeks and life has returned to mostly normal.

I'm down to 224 in the weight department and I think it is in part because I'm not hungry come lunch time so I usually just  have a smoothie with some protein, although I must say the coffee : water consumption has gotten way skewed again.

5 or 6 cups of coffee yesterday to 3 cups of water. not good. Today, so far, is a little better in that department, but it is still early...

Oh, I also have bought 3 pairs of jeans in the recent months in a size 16. Not a woman's size 16, just a normal, regular old size 16!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

Honestly that alone feels great, but I'm still not used to my body now. I don't look at myself. ever. EVER.

I will look at the clothes I'm wearing or how my hair is done, but I won't look at myself.

I know its a trained habit from when I was bigger, because I didn't like the way I looked so I wouldn't look, but now I feel like I need to break that behavior. There is nothing wrong with the way I look, and there really never was, but you know how it is when 'you' think you look bad. Now I don't look bad (at least I don't think I do) and I'm still disconnected feeling to my new body. Odd, right?

Who knew that weight loss and getting healthy include a mental check. Go figure. ;-)

So anyways, that's all that's going on lately. Just wonderfully, gloriously routine life.

New shoes and times.

So I had to buy some new running shoes and in so glad I did!!!! I got last year's Nike Pegasus from my local running store and I'm happy that they were on clearance and only $75 but more happy that the guy helping me actually listened to my laundry list of aches and pains. These shows are super comfortable and even though I forgot my knee brace today my knee is not bothering me. Yay!!!

So another thing that I love is that I ran my fastest mile today. 11:12. Not that that's super fast or anything but what I love is that I didn't kill myself getting there. My pace was a nice even kilter that I was able to maintain through out my run. Love!!

So that's my check in. See y'all later.

Full circle.

So it's been 9 years and 8 days since I first said "I do," and I have come full circle. Weight wise at least. My most recent weigh in came in at 227.8. That's my wedding weight.

It's kind of odd. I'm not used to seeing this body attached to me. I'm actually in disbelief. I wanted to be at this weight a month ago but what's another month in the scheme of things?

Not much, but what I wasn't expecting was my reaction to the additional weight loss. I'm totally happy with the it but what I wasn't expecting was the anxiety to return.

The sane, logical side of me knows what's going on. I'm stressed and therefore freaking out about ridiculous things. I have no workout schedule. I'm barely hanging onto my diet. My kids are growing up without me it seems. In short, I feel disconnected and its screwing with my balance. Hate doesn't even begin to describe the distaste I have for this phenom right now.

The emotional, psycho side of me wants to curl up in a ball with my family, the tv, chocolate, coffee, nachos, fuzzy slippers, and a blanket big enough for all of us and never move again. Cause that's totally plausible. *eye roll*

Sigh. I need to get my head screwed on straight. I need to charge forward like I *always* do. I need to find my way.

Anyone have a map?

Going insane....

You know how it's sometimes really hard to motivate yourself back into a workout routine after a hiatus? Yea. I do too.

It's been 6 weeks since my last run. Not counting the quick dash/race I did with the big guy at the beach. It lasted maybe 40 seconds.

So today I went for a run. No reasoning with myself or talking myself into or out of it. I just went.

It felt amazing until I got a 1/2 mile into it and my knees started tightening up and my hips, my right one especially, started taking up the knees' chorus. It sucked, but I was determined to make it to the stop sign at about the halfway point of my run. So to keep myself motivated I insulted and railed at myself. Out loud. Breathing hard and spitting occasionally at myself.

I must have sounded and probably looked like an insane person. It worked though. I didn't just run to the stop sign; I ran the whole damn course. Despite my lower joints complaining and whining the whole time.

I've never done that. I've never been able to run the whole 2 miles nonstop. Despite the pain and the berating myself it felt amazing. I averaged 1:44 faster than my last 7 runs. Can you believe that?

Even though I'm sore now, it was totally with it.

Checking in ...

So it's been a while. I'm down to 230. Yay. Almost to the 220's!!!

Exercise has been infrequent at best but I've been super good about staying on my diet.

Let me tell you about my guilty pleasure from last night. You see the fam and I had some errands to run and while running said errands we ran into some people that we used to be friends with. The friendship did not end well.

Anyways the last time I saw these friends was last year and about 63 pounds ago.

I'm not going to lie and tell you guys that I wasn't more than a little pleased to have run into them again looking the way I do now. Especially since they have changed since the last time I saw them. I'm going to revel in my shallowness and be content in the fact that even tho I'm tickled pink that they saw me and saw how good everyone on the fam is looking and doing; I'm more happy that I embarked on this journey for the right reasons. Me.

So there's my thought snippet for the day.

Blogging on Break

I feel like such a bad blogger. Both of my blogs have been neglected because of the changes going on. Not that I am complaining because I'm blessed with the opportunities that have been made available to me.

But in other news - I'm finally down to 233!

Yes I know that it's labor day and I wanted to be 225 but I'm 8 pounds away and I'm in better shape than I've been in in years and I couldn't be more pleased.

I should really take pictures of my outfits so I can show of the new svelte me. While I'm not losing the pounds I'm losing inches which is better!

Unfortunately I have not worked out since Wednesday and I haven't done power 90 in over a week. I'm so bad. Oh well school starts tomorrow and along with that comes a new schedule.

Have a great labor day everyone!!!

Adjusting

So its been a bit since I've posted.

Its been busy in my neck of the woods.

New job (that I love), big changes.

My hubs is the stay-at-home-Dad now, and do you know how hard it is to hand over the reins? Very. Hard.

Not to say that the transition hasn't been without its bumps, but its hasn't been terrible either. Actually, its gone better than I thought it would.

I'm still 9-10 pounds from my goal of 225 by Labor day. I can't seem to get below 234.

I'm still banging out the Power 90 stuff (day 9 was today). I've had to adjust the schedule and do 3 days of workouts and then a day of rest. My knees (the left one especially) hates the kicks. I actually enjoy them, but the creaking and rubbing that I hear from my knees after a cardio episode is probably not good.  My knees will just have to hang on until my insurance kicks in.

Even though I'm not losing pounds, I am losing inches. Which is always nice.

I'm no longer relegated to wear a Woman's 18. Now I can fit into a straight 18! YAY!!!!

I'm creeping up on that size 20 in patterns too, which makes me super happy.

I'm going to have to figure out how to work in family time, craft time, and social time around my work schedule though. I'm kind of missing my friends and our girl and coffee time, but I'm sure after school starts it will be easier to hang out again, because we won't have to get ALL the kids together. It'll just be the small ones. :)

Ok so that's my check-in. Hope you guys missed me.

Project 10-9

Hello August! Wow - It's August. Sheesh. Well not much to report this week. I didn't do very well about some of my goals, and some of them I did. 

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. I've been stressy this week, so I've gotten off the water band wagon, but today I'm taking back my routine and owning it. I've even got water right next to me right now (and my coffee) :) 
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early.   Still failing at this, but I am getting up. Tomorrow is the first day of work. I want to work  out before hand. Means I'm up at 6 so I can get breakfast, workout and a shower all before work. :)   
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me.  I didn't exercise so wearing my brace wasn't needed.     
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. Fail +.   
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. I did not fail this! I started Tony Horton's P90 today and had my good 'ole resistance band. Yay! I don't really like the resistance band, but its something and better than no weights. 
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me.  I've started working out at home. Home = Gym. I can dig it.  
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. I've been slacking. We haven't been going to the pool. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. ANNNNNNND still failing........
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. Does stretching count?  
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this.  So at my lowest this week I was 234.2, but today I was 236.2.  That's about a 2 pound gain from last week. I'm blaming stress, but I'm also not worried about it. I slacked off from exercising and my diet. What did I really expect to happen? So I'm back to tracking everything, I've started P90 and I'm going to work tomorrow. That's a lot of movement.  I'm excited about it and I know that I can tackle whatever. 

I think I need to change up my goals. Not only did I get lazy with my goals, but exercise and diet fell by the wayside as well. So here are my new goals this week! 

• Reasonable bed time. 11 pm is not terrible and I have to get up in the morning. 
• Keep with the P90 workout. 
• Don't let things get to me so much. I do not need to absorb the weight of the world. I only need to worry about the  people in my house. 
• Stick with my diet. Even though I'm going back to work doesn't mean I get  to slip on my diet.
• Make me time. I like to run/walk/sew by myself. There's a reason there's a door to the house and my sewing room. 
• Still shooting for 225 by Labor Day. 

Well there are my goals, and I feel pretty good about them. 

As a side note, P90 was not as difficult as I remember, but then again I'm also in a lot better  shape than I was. Oh and before I forget! My starting photos! 

I also have some new stats!   

	September 8, 2011	October 29, 2011	March 18, 2012	May 13, 2012	May 31, 2012	August 6, 2012
Bust	49.5"	48"	47.5"	47"	45.5"	43.5"
Waist	40.5"	40"	39.5"	39"	38"	36.5"
Hips	54.5"	53.5"	52"	52"	51"	48.5"
Upper Arm	16.5"	15.5"	15"	15"	14"	14"

Project 10-8

Hello August! Wow - It's August. Sheesh. Well not much to report this week. I didn't do very well about some of my goals, and some of them I did. 

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. This is actually getting better, when I don't solve my thirst with coffee. 
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early.    I'm still getting to bed late, but getting up around 8. That's going to have to change. I want to be waking up at 6:30 so I can get breakfast and a workout in the morning. Need to work on this.  
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me.  I didn't exercise so wearing my brace wasn't needed.     
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. Fail +.   
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. Fail + again.
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me.  Fail +++. Need to go to the gym!   
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. I've been slacking off on the pool utilization. sigh. fail. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. ANNNNNNND still failing........
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. failing some more....... 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this.  Some how between my deviation to party land on Friday and Saturday and then returning to my diet with gusto, my weight is now 234.6. That's 4 pounds down this week!  Yay!!! 9 pounds to go. I can do it! 

So my schedule is going to be changing. I got a job today. Nothing is official official yet. You know, the drug test still has to come back etc, but yea, a job is on the horizon, so I need to get my butt into a new schedule. I want to stay on my diet and still manage to work out while getting in family time, craft time, and relax time. I do believe there's going to be a learning curve. I'm not changing my goals, because I don't know what to change them too. So here's to a new adventure!  

Project 10-7

I can't believe that summer is half over! I just went school shopping for my Big Guy. He's going into the first grade, and I can't believe it. I mean I'm totally excited that school will be starting sooner than later, but still summer is half over. :-(  At least with the new school year it means that I can get back into some semblance of a routine. In other news, Small Fry tried eating a few new things. Too bad they were magnets. After a quick trip to the ER to make sure they were connected and not  pinching any of his innards, we then had fun on poop watch. Hopefully Small Fry will settle down, because  I don't know if I can survive anymore ER visits for him.

I was totally bad this week. I didn't make it to the gym at all. I need to hit the weights again, but the pool is just so  much more fun. Let's see how I did on goals this week.

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. I'm still doing only ok with this. I slipped back into old habits this week, but I am still taking water with me every time I go to the pool, and there is no soda in the house anymore so that helps. 
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early.    I am actually improving at this. Midnight is still my usual go to bedtime, but I did make it into bed at 11:30 one night, and I've managed to wake up at 8 every morning, I just don't get out of bed for any hour or so. I listen to the kids, read or drift back off to sleep, but usually by 9 am I'm up and about. I did  get to hear a very fun argument between the boys this morning. 
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me.  I did wear my brace this week and its comfortable, but I didn't get running or even attend zumba, so I don't know how it'll do with actual activity, but walking around with it feels good.    
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. I walked 3 miles with my Mom and the kids on Saturday, and it felt good. We  averaged a little faster than 3 miles an hour and it felt good. My mom really pushed herself the first half to keep up with me (and the boys, who were on bikes), and I was so proud of her for it. We did take a break at  the halfway point for about 10 minutes to let the kids play and then turned around. It was a lovely walk.   
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. I'm still counting throwing the kids as weights, but I've also started to target more of muscle groups while doing my laps, so for 3 laps or so I'll concentrate on my arms, or my inner thighs , etc.. 
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me.  I failed this. I didn't even go to the gym.   
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. I've been doing laps and they're harder the longer I do them, but I figure  as long as I'm doing them it doesn't matter how fast or slow I go. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. ANNNNNNND still failing........
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. failing some more....... 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this.  So my lowest (the morning after my ER stint) was 237.2, but I rebounded a little and am sitting at 238.4 right now, still pretty awesome. I love that stress messes with my weight so much, but I'm still 2 pounds lighter than last week, so  I'm going to own my accomplishment. This also means I'm 13 pounds from my goal and I have 4 weeks to do it, I'll be cutting it close, but I'm still shooting for Labor Day! 

Well that's my week, I know what I need to do, but the lull of summer is just to strong. :) I should probably just start doing the wii fit again or something. Or maybe convince the hubs to move his Xbox 360  out into the basement. ;-)

Project 10 - 5 & 6

So its been 2 weeks since I  posted anything up and while I apologize for that - it has been a crazy couple of weeks. My hubby decided to tear apart the basement and with some help from all in the household it got put back together in 8 days, but you know what that means right? Loads and loads of work and late nights. Lots of late nights. Lots of fast junky food as  well, because you know nothing tastes better than a Taco Bell dinner when you're covered in dry wall dust and paint. :-/  Despite all of that - lets see how my goals panned out....

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. Getting better about this! I still have my rough days, but more and more I'm going for water at lunch and for at least one of my coffee breaks. I bought a big cup with a straw and its my water cup, and I just keep it filled. Seems to be working pretty well. I think I should keep this as a goal, until it becomes habit though. 
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early.    I feel like I might be getting a Z if that were a grade. Remember the above paragraph about late nights and what not. I was also suffering from some insomnia. There was one night where I went to sleep at 5 am. Then a lot of nights that were 2 or 3 am nights. Not good. I did manage to go to bed at 1 am last night, so that is an improvement. Tonight will  be a midnight night. I have been setting my alarm this week so that I get up around 8:30, but I'm going to be changing that to  8 am. I need more of my morning back. 
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me.  I actually had to buy a new brace this week, because I did wear my brace last week (MJ really took a toll on my knee) and the elastic portion started to rip and separate. So we'll see how the new brace does, I'm excited  about it though.   
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. I ran today! Only a mile, but it still counts! I need to do more running. Run. Run. Run. Just keep running!  
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. I'm totally counting throwing the kids up and out of the water at the pool as weights time. I know that its not as effective, but I'm still counting it.  
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me. I've been to the gym twice in the last two weeks. Both times for zumba, but still we pay for it I need to go more often. I'd like to make it to the gym Tuesday through Thursday.   
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. Laps? What are laps? I swim the whole time but laps have not happened. Its still exercise. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. ANNNNNNND still failing........
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. failing some more....... 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this. Guess who weighed in at 240.4 this morning???? This girl!!!!!!!!! Hell yea! 15 more pounds to my goal. Hopefully with increased gym time and returning to my non-junky food diet I'll get there!  

So that report was much better than the last report, and given the past two weeks, I'm quite impressed with myself. 

I started sewing yet another swimsuit for myself today, and I'm more hopeful about this one. This one is more circumspect  than the last  and its designed for us 'bigger' ladies.  It should also work well for aqua fitness.

I did get another dress done and this one fits so much better than the last one!

I wanted a versatile knit dress that could go from dressy to being worn at a BBQ, and I think this one fits the bill! I love how it hangs on me, and how it accentuates my waist.

Hopefully this week brings me breaking into the 230's and making more of my goals. Baby steps!

See you guys later!

 Come join the rest of the Project 10 Gals!

Project 10-4 (Efffff)

Has it really been another week? Already? Efff. The parties and holidays are not being my friend. They're screwing with my schedule in a big way. I need  to focus. That might be the 11th goal this week. I seriously need to buckle down and get a handle on this summer crap. 

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. Still failing. Although, I did voluntarily start drinking water while visiting my Mom the other day, so while a big fat F it might be an F+. 
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early.    Is there something lower than an F that I can give myself?  I don't think I've had one bedtime before midnight this week and I definitely stayed up until 2 one morning reading a new book. This could be a reason why I slept until 10:44 this morning. Eff. 
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me. I suppose if I had worked out at all this week, I might have remembered my braces, but I didn't make it to the gym. At all. Remember when I had problems freaking out about the weight returning. Yea - I'm kind of freaking out.  
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. So much failure this week. I feel like I need a mulligan. No running happened. Does running after the kids count?  
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. Does lifting my kids count as weights, cause those would be the only weights I lifted this week. Still logging the failures. 
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me. Did you see the comment about  not working out? Yea......I am giving myself a big 'ole fat goose egg for this goal.  
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. OOOH! Something I didn't fail at! Of course, we only went to the pool once, but that's  because our pool was out of commission for 4 days because of a derecho storm that came through and knocked out power to most of our community. Luckily, we were not affected and were able to enjoy the lovely comforts of our a/c, but many of our friends were not as lucky. Anyways, I got in a solid 45 minutes of laps, and I did feel that exercise for most of  the day. I did concentrate on my form and targeting different muscle groups. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. ANNNNNNND back to failing........
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. Still failing....... 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this. I have not stepped on a scale in a week, so I have no idea if I lost weight  or not. I did so horribly this week that I'm a little afraid to see the damage. So I'm going to say that I'm still at 244 and I still have work to do. :)

Wasn't that report just full of sunshine and happiness? Do you feel warm and fuzzy? Ugh, I can't believe how bad I was this week. I'm usually pretty disciplined.  The news doesn't get better either. 

I made myself a new dress for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party, and I wanted to love it so much more than I did. I mean it didn't look bad and I didn't look bad in it, but I think I just wanted more from it. 

 So there's the dress. Unfortunately, I didn't  get a picture of the back (which is the best part, IMO). The back has a fun metal zipper being shown off, but like I said, the dress didn't fit me the way I imagined it would. I've been having that problem lately though. For this dress, the  waist could have been pulled in a bit and the bodice could be lengthened among other things. 

I made myself a swimsuit today, and again - its not quite right. Sigh. I'm not batting a good average over here, and hopefully it changes soon. I've cut out two more things for me and I am really hoping that they work out because otherwise I may retire to my room for a week, and lord knows  that's not going to put me in a better mood.

I'm going to be keeping all of my goals the same for next week, and maybe - just maybe- I'll be able to accomplish something next week. 

Project 10-3

Welcome to another installment of Project 10. This project seems to be one of the only things motivating me to write blog posts lately. Not that that's a bad thing, because it means I'm busy. Being busy is a good, means I'm not sitting on my arse. :)

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day. I am still failing at this. On days I really kick my butt, I'm really good about it but otherwise I fail. I need to do this. I need a reward system. Gold stars, anyone?
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early. Totally failing at this. Midnight is a much nicer number. Hell, right now its 12:32. Eff. I'm setting an alarm tomorrow so that I don't sleep so late. 
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me. I forgot to wear my braces on Wednesday and my knees did ok, but messing around and hip-checking my mom tonight garnered me some pain in my right knee. Go figure. Obv, there's still room for improvement. 
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. I did two runs so far this week, which puts me at 5 more runs before my goal is up. Maybe I'll be able to make this. I'm hoping to get a run in on Sunday and then again on Monday and Wednesday. 
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso. Still failing, but I'm doing more targeted exercises on my arms and torso. I should do weights when I hit the gym though. There's no reason not to. I'm there, aren't I? 
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me. I went to the gym twice this week, which was nice, but I didn't do any weights and the runs I did log weren't terrific. They weren't bad, but I can do better. I  need to allot more time before my classes to get my exercises done. 
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps. I did 5 minutes of laps. At least I used the time somewhat well. To my credit though our pool time was significantly cut  down this week, because Small Fry decided that he needed to add some stitches to his attire. We weren't able to hit the pool until today, but I could have used my time better. 

Here's my warrior. Morning after our ER trip. He was such a trooper though.
Slept through the stitches. Wish I could do that. 

• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. I did not make it to Turbo Kick this week. I did hit an extra Zumba class, which was great, but I really should try to make it on to Turbo. Next week is another week and another chance. 
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. The only stretching that got done was at the end of class. I failed at this and I need to get better about it. My back has been killing me and while part of it is because of my chair and how I sit when I sew the other  part is probably from working so hard. 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this. This morning, I weighed in at 244. That's another two pounds down from last week. Yay! I managed to do ok at a wedding this past weekend and stay really good about my eating and exercise. I can't wait to keep knocking off the pounds. I was looking at myself today in the morning and decided that  while I've earned my 'baby pouch' I'm not in love with it, but what I dislike more are the smallish love handles. I want to get rid of those. So I'm going to focus more on my abs and obliques. 

Well there's my report for this week. The dress I made for the wedding I mentioned above was great. It felt so good to fit into it and then have to take in the bodice, near the armholes, after I finally got my proper fitting bras. I'm making another dress for my grandmother's 50th anniversary party this weekend and I've had to take in the bodice again, but this dress is more a sheath style than the A-line styling of the last one, and I can't remember the last time I wore something like that. I'm very excited about it. 

So here's my new dress! The wedding was at a winery and the seersucker fabric was wonderfully comfortable while sitting out in the heat of the afternoon sun. Do you guys like my duct tape shoes? I'm going to be  sharing a how-to on Straight Stitches next week on them. :)  Oh you can also see just how short-waisted I am. The belt is actually sitting right at my waist. As my grandfather used to always tell me - I've got legs up to my shoulders. 

I'm going to keep all my goals the same for next week, because well - I didn't do very well. Hopefully this week there are no emergency room trips, near drownings or new injuries. I've had enough excitement for the last couple of weeks. 

See you guys next week!

Project 10-2

Well its been another week, and I'm feeling pretty good about my progress this last week. I've copied and pasted my goals from the last two weeks and have added commentary to them. I think this week, I'm going to be changing up these goals. Variety is the spice of life, right?

• Food. I'm already watching calories and what I put into my body and I'm going to keep at it. I use My Fitness Pal to track my calories and exercise during the day. I recently lowered my caloric intake from 1800 a day to 1730 a day. I'm nervous about this, but I know I can stay at or under my goal.  I'm still doing well with this goal, so I think its become habit  now. I'm going to remove this as a goal  for this week.
• Water. DRINK MORE OF IT! Seriously, were coffee water I'd be golden. Its not and that makes me sad. I should drink 8 cups. I average about 3. I want to get at least 4 cups of water a day in me.  I did pretty well on this goal this week. We brought a  case of water with us camping and I drank that mostly, except for all the alcohol. :) I'm still going to have this as a goal, because I can still improve. Today I had  5 cups of water. I've replaced one of my afternoon coffees with a glass of water so that's helped. Not to mention the heat wave and all the time spent at the pool. If I bring water with me, I'll drink it. 
• Stress. We all deal with it. There's a lot going on for us right now, but I want to do my best to manage it better. Its interfering with my sleep, and that's not good for anyone in this house. I'm still stressing, but I'm managing it by taking it out on my boxing routine. I'm going to remove this goal this week and work towards something else. 
• Sleep. I should not stay up until midnight or later every night. I need my sleep, especially with my increased activity during the day. I'm going to bed by 11. That needs to happen.  I need to get better about this. Now that summer is here and I don't have to be up by 7, I've been slacking. This is going to stay a goal. 
• Guilt. I do not need to feel guilty about not tracking my calories one day, and I don't need to feel guilty about enjoying a glass of wine or 3 with my friends. I have educated myself enough to where I should feel comfortable having a treat every so often. I don't binge and I don't eat like crap, one treat will not undo all that I've done.  I feel like I'm not ever going to completely get rid of my guilt, but I'm managing it better. So this goal is biting the dust.       
• Fear. A healthy dose of fear is not bad for anyone. I wish Small Fry knew this. A healthy respect of fear would do him a world of good. However; my fear is causing me stress. I'm terrified of putting back on the weight I've lost. Its stressing me out. This is counter-productive. Stress makes me want to eat. I don't want to eat, think of the calories, so I have a cup of coffee instead. I need to not be afraid that the weight will come back. I am not going back to my old ways so the weight shouldn't come back, but I'm a worrier. I need to stop fretting.  I'm still dealing with this, but I don't feel like this is something that I'll ever get over. I just need to accept that it is part of who I am and keep moving forward. I'm taking this goal off the list. 
• Injuries. My left knee is acting up again. Of course it is. Its terrific weather outside and I want to run so why wouldn't it act up? I need to wear my brace whether I like it or not. My knee is not going to heal or be 100% but I can get it close. I just need to wear my damn brace.  Oh dear Lord. I remembered my braces. Yes, I said braces. My knees seriously hate me. They've now recruited my left hip into their shenanigans. I ran yesterday morning, and made sure to wear my little brace on my left knee. After 1.5 miles my knee is calling me all sorts of nasty, inappropriate names. By the time 2 miles is done, the other knee has joined the chorus. I get home and put the 'big' brace on the left knee, the 'little' brace on the right knee and then head off to Zumba. We jumped a lot in class today. There were also lunges. My knees hate me, so does the hip. I will have to keep wearing my braces and I may have to wear the 'big' brace next time I run. 
• Running. Get. Back. To. It. Even if I have to walk/jog, I need to get back to running. I enjoy it, but I do not need to push myself so hard again. Remember those knees of yours? Even if I get in one run a week, I will be happy.  I kind of failed on this. I did not get another run in last week, but I did go running yesterday and the run was amazing, even with the knees (remember the above commentary). The first mile was awesome. 11:40. 2 seconds slower than my fastest mile to date. Not to shabby. Overall I had a 12:49 pace, which I'm not displeased with. I need to run twice more this week to get back into good standing for my Nike+ goal. 
• Weights. Add more of them. I'm a wimp. I like 2 pound weights. They're easy. I need to increase what I lift so that I can tone up my muscle more. No More Wimp!  I didn't do any weights this week, so that's a big fat failure on this goal. I need to improve.  It also doesn't help that I hurt my hand this last week. 
• 10 pounds. Lose.It. I weighed myself yesterday and I was 252 even. Wow. 2 pounds from that humongous milestone of 250. I'm in disbelief that I'm actually there. I just cut out three patterns for myself at a size 22 (for non-sewers that's like an XL in retail sizes). Did you know that last summer I was making stuff in a size 26 (2XL)? Scary what 45 pounds does for you. Imagine what 55 pounds lost will look like. :)  So I didn't lose another  5 pounds this week. I did lose another pound though, but considering everything I ate during camping, I'll take another pound. So that's 6 pounds total. Hopefully I can get those last 4 pounds gone this week!

So its time for new goals. Setting new goals is actually somewhat difficult. Its like trying to pick out what you want for Christmas at New Year's, but here I go. 

• Water. I need to get my average up to 4 cups a day.
• Get to bed by 11 pm every night. I know its the summer, but the boys still wake up early. 
• Preventative measures. Wear my braces. No questions. Just do it. My knees will eventually thank me.
• Run. Run. Run. Run. Get back on track with my Nike+ goal. 
• Add the weights! Tone up those arms and torso.
• Get to the gym more. Its easy to take the easy road when I work out at home. The gym pushes me. 
• Utilize pool time with the kids better. When its adult only swim, I need to swim laps. 15 minutes of laps.
• Try out turbo kick at the gym. I've taken it once and it scares me. I should give it a decent 3 tries before saying that its not for me. 
• Do more yoga/pilates. I need to stretch and improve my flexibility. Everything hurts and the stretching would feel good. 
• Be 225 by the time school starts in September. That's another 25 pounds in 10 weeks. I know I can do this. 

Well those are my goals. Some are ambitious and some is just routine maintenance, but they all need to get done. So link up your posts to Project 10 and let the wonderful ladies inspire and motivate you to become the you - you want to be. 

38 vs 40

I may have to apologize before you read any further into this post. I went bra shopping today and it did not go well. Here's a good synopsis of how it went.

Now I want to apologize to any and all people who read this little 'ole blog who have known or experienced the loss of a loved one due to suicide, but seriously bra shopping has to top swim suit shopping in regards to killing any self esteem you may have.

What makes this awful experience worse was the sales girl who was helping Mom and I. Yes, I went bra shopping with my mom. She did just enough to be considered helpful, but only just. So sales girl 'measures' me. 38 around the torso (yay!) and a DD around the girls. Um? Ok, you're the one holding the tape measure.

So we grab 4 bras (gotta love buy 2 get 2 free sales) and I say as I'm about to put on the first bra - Wow this is really small. The cups are tiny. I had no idea how right I was. T.I.N.Y.

The girls produced a better mushroom than Pennsylvania. So I ask Mom to go get some 38DDD's. Still no dice. Mom please go back out there and ask if they have a 38F. Mom says are you sure you don't want to try a 40. No, I don't want to try a 40 because I've been wearing 40's and 42's and they don't fit well. Please go find a 38F.

Mom comes back and says that the sales girl says they don't make a 38F, so she hands me a 40DD and a 40DDD. Neither fit. I mean they fit around me, but not as well as the 38 and the girls do not fit in them. Sigh.

Mom goes back out and asks the sales girl  if there's anything in the store that will fit my girls. The ever-so-helpful sales girl says no. Then low and behold Mom comes back with a 38F and a 40F. I thought they didn't make them that big. Mom says, "I just found one. So I don't know." We try the 38 on and again the band fits great, but the cup is almost there. I try on the 40F and it fits. Its a little loose in the band, but the girls fit. Hallelujah!

So I find 4 bras that fit and we go on our merry way - $115 later. WTF? The convertible bra I bought (for a wedding this weekend) costs $70. WTF? Sheesh. Sigh. Again, on our merry way. On the way out, what do I spy? A 38G. SERIOUSLY! A G would fit me and the band will fit better than the 40.

Guess what I'm doing before Saturday. Yep, going back to Lane Bryant and trying on that 38G and if it fits better than my 40F's guess what's getting exchanged.

Yay for customer service.

Now, I know that a 40F and a 38G are basically the same damn bra, but 38 is a much nicer number than 40. I've been a 40. I've been a 40DDD and it was in 2007. I'd like to be smaller than that, considering I weigh less now than I did then and I certainly don't want to spend $115 on bras only to not have them fit in about 3 wearings because the elastic has been broken in. Grumble.

Project 10-1

So its been a week (and a day) into Project 10 and I think I did pretty well. The hubs has stepped up his getting healthy trek in a big way and I feel like I'm almost hanging on to keep up with him. It also helps {or doesn't help} that the both of us are super competitive so we have to work on not being competitive with each other. That's mostly easy for us. This July will mark 10 years together. I think we've gotten used to each others quirks. At least I hope we have. ;-)  So here's my week in recap and some more goals.

• Food. I'm already watching calories and what I put into my body and I'm going to keep at it. I use My Fitness Pal to track my calories and exercise during the day. I recently lowered my caloric intake from 1800 a day to 1730 a day. I'm nervous about this, but I know I can stay at or under my goal.  I'm still rocking this goal. I didn't once over eat and in fact had trouble some days making it past 1400 calories.  No, I'm not starving myself. I'm full. I'm always full, but it just takes a lot less to make me full now. 
• Water. DRINK MORE OF IT! Seriously, were coffee water I'd be golden. Its not and that makes me sad. I should drink 8 cups. I average about 3. I want to get at least 4 cups of water a day in me.  I could have done better here. I am still averaging about 3 a day, but my new goal is to replace one cup of coffee with 1.5 cups of water. Hopefully this will help get my water intake up. 
• Stress. We all deal with it. There's a lot going on for us right now, but I want to do my best to manage it better. Its interfering with my sleep, and that's not good for anyone in this house.  I think I did pretty well with this goal. I didn't have any trouble falling asleep except for Sunday night, which is completely understandable. Small fry decided to try his hand at swimming when NO ONE was in the pool with him. He made it out of the water safely, but it sure did get the adrenaline going and I had a rough night because of the adventures from the day. 
• Sleep. I should not stay up until midnight or later every night. I need my sleep, especially with my increased activity during the day. I'm going to bed by 11. That needs to happen.  I rocked this. I didn't go to bed any later than 11, and even hit the hay by 10:30 one night. I definitely need to keep this goal up, because it makes things so much better on me the next day. 
• Guilt. I do not need to feel guilty about not tracking my calories one day, and I don't need to feel guilty about enjoying a glass of wine or 3 with my friends. I have educated myself enough to where I should feel comfortable having a treat every so often. I don't binge and I don't eat like crap, one treat will not undo all that I've done.  I didn't have any huge problems with this this week. I think a confidence booster definitely occurred when I cut out a dress for me for a friend's wedding in a size 22 (size 16/18 retail). I haven't done that in  god knows how long.      
• Fear. A healthy dose of fear is not bad for anyone. I wish Small Fry knew this. A healthy respect of fear would do him a world of good. However; my fear is causing me stress. I'm terrified of putting back on the weight I've lost. Its stressing me out. This is counter-productive. Stress makes me want to eat. I don't want to eat, think of the calories, so I have a cup of coffee instead. I need to not be afraid that the weight will come back. I am not going back to my old ways so the weight shouldn't come back, but I'm a worrier. I need to stop fretting.  I am still dealing with this, but its not as bad as it was last week. Like today, when I don't think I'll have time to get in a proper work out, I need to stop fretting. The entire morning I was in the kitchen cooking and prepping food for our camping trip this weekend and all of that standing and food prep does burn calories. I need to remember that. Its not like I'm sitting on my ass and eating bon-bons. I am up and I am doing stuff. It all counts.  
• Injuries. My left knee is acting up again. Of course it is. Its terrific weather outside and I want to run so why wouldn't it act up? I need to wear my brace whether I like it or not. My knee is not going to heal or be 100% but I can get it close. I just need to wear my damn brace.  I could write a lovely novel entitled, "Why I hate my knees and they hate me back." I went running (yay!) yesterday and it was glorious. I did not wear my brace, but it was ok. I only did 1.13 miles and the run felt amazing, but I did realize that for zumba I was going to NEED my brace. So I wore it, and while I'm sure it helped - by the time zumba was over, I was limping even with the brace on. I did my other workouts with the brace on, but yesterday it really hurt. I still need to improve on this one. 
• Running. Get. Back. To. It. Even if I have to walk/jog, I need to get back to running. I enjoy it, but I do not need to push myself so hard again. Remember those knees of yours? Even if I get in one run a week, I will be happy.  As I said above, I ran yesterday! I set up new goals, and I've done one run. I wanted to run today, and it may still happen but probably not. If I don't get my run today - I AM GOING TO RUN TOMORROW! I set up a goal in Nike+ to run at least twice a week. Hopefully that will get me back in my groove. 
• Weights. Add more of them. I'm a wimp. I like 2 pound weights. They're easy. I need to increase what I lift so that I can tone up my muscle more. No More Wimp!  I didn't do any weights this week, so that's a big fat failure on this goal. I need to improve.  
• 10 pounds. Lose.It. I weighed myself yesterday and I was 252 even. Wow. 2 pounds from that humongous milestone of 250. I'm in disbelief that I'm actually there. I just cut out three patterns for myself at a size 22 (for non-sewers that's like an XL in retail sizes). Did you know that last summer I was making stuff in a size 26 (2XL)? Scary what 45 pounds does for you. Imagine what 55 pounds lost will look like. :)  Well I'm down almost 5 pounds, so I'd say I'm doing pretty well on this.  I'm going to stick with my plan and by next week I should have lost my 10 pounds. I hope!

So new goals for the week. I actually think I'm going to keep my goals. I like the goals I rocked and I think they're a good thing for me to keep doing and the goals that I didn't accomplish, well you know what they say - Keep trying until you get it right. So that's what I'm going to do. This weekend may prove to be a challenge as I have already decided I'm not going to track anything, so maybe the one goal I will have for the weekend is too not gain any weight because of the camping trip. :) 

I also want to give a shout out to my girl, Sarah, who stuck to her goals this week and was rewarded for her hard work! She also shared a really yummy looking recipe for shredded buffalo chicken! Go see her and the other wonderful ladies linked up to Project 10! 

I would also like to congratulate my hubs on losing 4 pounds in 3 days! He didn't just jump back up onto the bandwagon, he tackled the freaking thing. I am so proud of him and what he's been able to accomplish and look forward to travelling with him on this journey. 

Oh and this parting gift - updated shots of me!  

So these pictures are from 2 years ago. May 18, 2010. Its not my largest, but I don't remember how big I was. I'm guessing probably 275ish.

Here are today's pictures!

 I'm afraid I do not have a future in self-portraiture, but you get the idea. Still working on that baby pouch, I know I won't get rid of it, but it doesn't have to be quite as prominent and really I just want to slim down everywhere some more. :)

50 pounds ...... Almost

Today I weigh 247.6. That's about 49 pounds lighter than when I started this journey.

I am in shock. Only a little bit of shock. I mean 50 pounds is a lot. That's 5/6 the weight of my big guy. That's almost one of my dogs. I can't believe that I've come so far.

You know when something amazingly awesome happens to you and you just can't believe your good fortune? That's kind if where I'm at today. It's not like this was unexpected. I've been working for this, towards this. To actually have this day here though is incredible.

I guess it's kind of ironic that today I do not feel like working out though. I have 800 million things to do around the house and I have to get them done.

At least doing the chores around the house will be a light exercise. So I took pictures of myself and I'm going to post them but they're on my computer and I'm on my phone.

Maybe they'll get posted this weekend. :-)

249!!!!!

I stepped on the scale this morning and 249 is what she flashed across her screen!!!!!!

Hell yes!!!!!!!!

Project 10

I have 800 things going on lately, and all of them are self-induced. I really couldn't be happier. The only problem? Not enough time, and that's what this post was going to be about. Juggling. What am I juggling? Blogging time. 

Instead I'm going to tell you guys about Project 10! My super soxxy friend, Sarah, gave me the heads up about a project she's joined to help her lose 10 pounds or more, and just get healthier in general. So I checked out her post {HERE}.

I'm intrigued. Its been a while since I've set new goals for myself, well since I wrote them down and shared them, and new goals are not a bad thing. So I check out Stephanie's Mommy Brain blog (she's the wonderful lady hosting said Project 10) and I'm jumping on board the Project 10 ship!

For those of you who have followed this humble little blog for a while know that my 1 year gym anniversary is coming up. July 26, 2011 is when I joined my gym. Scary. Its been a whole year - ok 11 months really, but who cares? Where the heck did time go? More to the point - HOOOOOORAAAAAY! Its been a freaking year (11 months) and I'm still going to the gym and dedicating at least an hour a day to my health. I cannot tell you how freaking good that feels. Just give me a sec to finish patting myself on the back. 

As I read Sarah's post, I realized that her journey is beginning much like my journey did. I had health problems - mainly my back and my knees. When I was younger I bruised my spine at least twice (that I can remember) and well, we all know the story with my knees (stupid freaking knees).  Last year, read December 2010, I went to my yearly girl appointment and weighed in at 296 pounds. Holy Freaking Batman! When the hell did I get to weigh so damn much. How did that happen? EFFF.  I still did nothing though. I dressed to hide my flaws, and that worked for a while. 

Then in April, I really got to know an awesome person, and through her met more awesome girls. My awesome girl is Lauren. She and I started taking walks, which then evolved into us joining said gym and developing a good routine. When the school year began, my schedule had to change. My big guy was going to kindergarten and that was a jolt to the system, so I wasn't able to go to the gym with Lauren as often as I would have liked. Then life happened. I got to know the moms at the bus stop better and their schedules were more in line with mine so we got closer. Lauren and I still talk on facebook, but we haven't seen each other in months. I know that with summer coming, she and I will probably have the time to hang out together and watch our children play, but I want everyone to know how thankful I am to Lauren for providing me the huge kick in the pants to get healthy. Thank you, Lauren! I can't wait to be able to hang again this summer! 

So now, as I reflect on goals that I've achieved, I am suffering a bit of nostalgia. I remember hiding from people and events because of my size. I remember not being able to keep up with my boys. I remember being unhappy, but never truly admitting to it.

Now there's a new ballgame. I'm on the path, I'm not detouring from it and I'm excited to be on it. Where to go from here?

For the next 10 weeks, I'm going to focus on the following things:

• Food. I'm already watching calories and what I put into my body and I'm going to keep at it. I use My Fitness Pal to track my calories and exercise during the day. I recently lowered my caloric intake from 1800 a day to 1730 a day. I'm nervous about this, but I know I can stay at or under my goal. 
• Water. DRINK MORE OF IT! Seriously, were coffee water I'd be golden. Its not and that makes me sad. I should drink 8 cups. I average about 3. I want to get at least 4 cups of water a day in me. 
• Stress. We all deal with it. There's a lot going on for us right now, but I want to do my best to manage it better. Its interfering with my sleep, and that's not good for anyone in this house.
• Sleep. I should not stay up until midnight or later every night. I need my sleep, especially with my increased activity during the day. I'm going to bed by 11. That needs to happen.
• Guilt. I do not need to feel guilty about not tracking my calories one day, and I don't need to feel guilty about enjoying a glass of wine or 3 with my friends. I have educated myself enough to where I should feel comfortable having a treat every so often. I don't binge and I don't eat like crap, one treat will not undo all that I've done. 
• Fear. A healthy dose of fear is not bad for anyone. I wish Small Fry knew this. A healthy respect of fear would do him a world of good. However; my fear is causing me stress. I'm terrified of putting back on the weight I've lost. Its stressing me out. This is counter-productive. Stress makes me want to eat. I don't want to eat, think of the calories, so I have a cup of coffee instead. I need to not be afraid that the weight will come back. I am not going back to my old ways so the weight shouldn't come back, but I'm a worrier. I need to stop fretting.
• Injuries. My left knee is acting up again. Of course it is. Its terrific weather outside and I want to run so why wouldn't it act up? I need to wear my brace whether I like it or not. My knee is not going to heal or be 100% but I can get it close. I just need to wear my damn brace.
• Running. Get. Back. To. It. Even if I have to walk/jog, I need to get back to running. I enjoy it, but I do not need to push myself so hard again. Remember those knees of yours? Even if I get in one run a week, I will be happy.
• Weights. Add more of them. I'm a wimp. I like 2 pound weights. They're easy. I need to increase what I lift so that I can tone up my muscle more. No More Wimp!
• 10 pounds. Lose.It. I weighed myself yesterday and I was 252 even. Wow. 2 pounds from that humongous milestone of 250. I'm in disbelief that I'm actually there. I just cut out three patterns for myself at a size 22 (for non-sewers that's like an XL in retail sizes). Did you know that last summer I was making stuff in a size 26 (2XL)? Scary what 45 pounds does for you. Imagine what 55 pounds lost will look like. :) 

So there's my list. 10 things to focus on. Will any of you join me in Project 10? 

Gettin' Smaller

It feels like its been forever since I've written anything, but I know in reality that it hasn't been that long.

Anyways, I have new measurements. I know, right? Its so soon. I just took new measurements like 2 or 3 weeks ago. Well they've changed again.  Yay!!!!

	September 8, 2011	October 29, 2011	March 18, 2012	May 13, 2012	May 31, 2012
Bust	49.5"	48"	47.5"	47"	45.5"
Waist	40.5"	40"	39.5"	39"	38"
Hips	54.5"	53.5"	52"	52"	51"
Upper Arm	16.5"	15.5"	15"	15"	14"

So in almost 9 months I've lost a total of 4" off the boob area, 2.5" off my waist, 3.5" from my saddlebag hips and 2.5" of turkey neck flab from my arms! WAHOOOOOO!!!!!

Pleased does not describe the elation I'm feeling. :)

I guess watching what I eat and caring about what I put into my body does help. :)

Ok back to Saturday shenanigans! :)